My Books
Why Worry?
Worrying is a complete waste of time. If you worry about something and it works out, you worried for nothing. If you worry about something and it doesn’t work out, you have only made the situation worse by worrying and placing your focus on a result you don’t want, thereby helping to create it. When you allow events to unfold, envisioning the best outcome, you are using your energy and thoughts to create the results you desire. Worrying wastes huge amounts of energy. When you are happy, you have faith that things will turn out well and that the universe will provide solutions. When things continually work out for the best, you will see the magic of life. You will become accustomed to allowing this to happen and you will be happy.
When I moved to New Jersey from Canada in 2000, it was very difficult to find an apartment, but I knew I would find a suitable place to rent. One day, a friend of mine, who did not share my faithful attitude, said to me, “You’re never going to find a place in your price range. It’s impossible.” “Would you just try and be a little more positive?” was my reply.
The next day, out of frustration, I opened the phone book and looked up apartments in the yellow pages. I called the first management company in the list and asked if they had any vacancies. They told me they had a one bedroom unit that I could see any time. I drove there on my lunch hour to have a look and as I pulled up the shady, tree lined street where the garden apartment complex lay nestled, I knew this would be my new home. I was shown the freshly painted apartment with newly refinished wood floors and three windows in the living room overlooking a courtyard filled with trees. I loved it. It was perfect. I told the apartment manager I would take it, but he explained that another woman had just seen the place and she also wanted it. I asked him if I should fill out an application anyway, and he said yes.
I only had a glimmer of hope to get the apartment, but it seems that’s all that was required. At eleven o’clock the next morning I got a call from the management company stating that the other person hadn’t faxed her application and they were inquiring if I still wanted the apartment. I told them I did and that I would be there in an hour with the money. It was Friday and I had just deposited my paycheck, but I knew it wouldn’t clear until Monday. The management company assured me they wouldn’t deposit my rent check until Monday. I signed the rental agreement, got the key, went up to my new home, lay down on the bare floor and breathed a sigh of triumph. I was so elated I didn’t even care that I only had $20 left to my name and a temporary job. I knew it would all work out and you know what, it did.
How do you stop worrying? First you must have that intention and then realize you are in control of your thoughts. You don’t have to worry about anything. Worrying is a habit you learned. You didn’t worry as a child. Why should anything go wrong? Life is not supposed to be full of things going wrong. Almost every day I hear people say, “It’s always something!”
No it’s not! It’s not always something. Stop yourself from thinking that and saying that. If you believe it is always something, it will be. If you believe that things go smoothly, then they will. Consider nature, everything is perfect in the natural world and we are part of that world, so why should we experience mishap after mishap? When you say that it’s always something, you are not allowing yourself to believe that things can go well. You are in opposition to the natural flow of life. So go with the flow and watch life unfold perfectly, the way it’s meant to, and when you hear someone say, “It’s always something,” tell that person “No, it’s not.”
Being Happy
Our purpose in life is to be happy. That’s why we are here. We spend much of our lives pursuing what we believe will make us happy, but what we fail to realize is that happiness is a feeling and just thinking about what makes you happy will give you that feeling. You don’t need any thing to make you feel happy, you only need the thought and you will experience the happiness.
If you want a new job, imagine being in the position you want and earning the salary you desire; by doing so, you already have the feeling of happiness even before you get the job. Of course, you still want to get the job, since you can’t go shopping with your feelings, but the end result is already yours. You have already created the job, in your mind, by having the feeling. All you must do is to allow it to materialize and take the steps you feel are necessary. You might want to brush up on your skills so when your interview comes around you are more qualified and prepared.
The sense of accomplishment, opportunity to work at something you love and the increased income, which you associate with your new job, are created by thoughts. Thoughts are real and will attract that situation, or a similar one, into your life. On the other hand, since you already have the happy feeling, you might decide you like your current job. Either way you can’t lose since, no matter what the outcome, you’re already happy.
To quote Wallace Wattles from The Science of Getting Rich, Man must pass from the competitive to the creative mind; he must form a clear mental picture of the things he wants, and hold this picture in his thoughts with the fixed PURPOSE to get what he wants, and the unwavering FAITH that he does get what he wants, closing his mind against all that may tend to shake his purpose, dim his vision, or quench his faith.
We were all born happy. As small children we played, laughed and giggled throughout the day. We didn’t need anyone to tell us what we desired; in fact, we were willing to throw tantrums in order to get our way. We ate what we wanted and did as we pleased; resisting, without hesitation, anything we didn’t like. At that young age, when we became unhappy, we protested wholeheartedly by crying, kicking, screaming or trying to run away. Happiness was so essential to us then, we were willing to put 100 percent of our energy into anything that would help us attain and preserve our happy state. If we wanted a toy and it was given to us, we were delighted and totally content. If our plaything was taken from us, it became an overwhelming tragedy.
As we got older, we learned to accept that which didn’t make us happy–setting aside what we really desired. In addition, we learned that there are things we must do whether we liked it or not; that’s just the way life is. That was the lie we chose to believe, but it’s not the way life is supposed to be. You don’t have to accept or settle for anything. All you have to do is to have the intention to be happy, remember how it feels to be happy, and decide that you are happy.
Happiness is the first step, the number one thing, the essential beginning for no matter what goals you achieve, what spiritual path you take or what belief system you embrace, it is up to you to be happy. I am an expert at being happy and have devoted my life to maintaining my state of happiness at all times. Once I realized this was possible, I decided to write the book, Do You Want to Be Happy NOW? My intention in authoring this small volume was to make available the knowledge that keeps me happy on a regular basis and why should I not be? Why shouldn’t we all be living a happy life?
I have formulated some simple questions that you can ask yourself and determine if there are areas of your life that are preventing you from being as happy as you would like; that is assuming you desire happiness, but since it is our natural state, one would be foolish to desire anything else.
Ask yourself the following:
- Do you wake up happy, looking forward to the day ahead?
- Are you happy for others when their life goes well?
- Do you think that a change in your life would make you happier and if so, what type of change?
- Do you focus on happy thoughts and only allow uplifting influences on a regular basis.
- Do you feel joy every day?
- Do you give thanks frequently?
- Are you in touch with your intuition?
- If so, do you listen to the guidance your intuitive thoughts offer?
- Do you feel content at the end of the day?
- Do you believe happiness is possible for you?
- Do you believe you must be happy first?
There is no score and this is not a test, but merely an example of what is available to you in your life. Most likely you are happy to some extent, but are you as happy as you would like to be and if not, when exactly did you intend to begin putting forth the effort to make your life a happy one. Will you wait five more years or ten or perhaps when you are retired, then you can start enjoying life and feeling as good as you can? Sounds silly for someone to do such a thing doesn’t it, but this is what most people do. Right NOW is the time to begin to examine all your thoughts and beliefs and change them into ones that will ultimately make you happier.
In Do You Want to Be Happy NOW? I write that happiness is a decision; you must decide to follow your heart and live the life that is intended for you. It is totally up to you, no one will make you happy or unhappy, only you. So get going and join those of us who happily living our lives each day as we are intended to. It’s the best! Remember, life is good, all is well.
Gratitude
Be happy and grateful for your life and everything in it. This is very important because gratitude signifies acceptance and validates the act of receiving. Once you have acknowledged and given thanks for what you have, you are in the position to receive more, so express gratitude whenever possible. You will feel happy when you are grateful and grateful that you are happy. Always look for the uplifting aspects of any situation. When you hear those doubtful thoughts trying to creep in, telling you that things probably won’t work or it’s too good to be true, just kick them out of your brain and replace them with positive, confident thoughts. Don’t scold yourself for your pessimistic thoughts, for they are only surfacing from deep within you. Better out than in, I always say. Be grateful that those thoughts are shifting from your subconscious into your conscious so that you can discard them. Why hold on to ideas and beliefs which no longer serve you?
A woman once told me a story about a time in her life when she was a single mother with three children and very little money. She lived for many years struggling to pay the rent, buy groceries and provide the most basic needs for her family. One day, after dinner, she sat at her kitchen table thinking about how little she had in her life. She looked up and saw the pile of dishes in the sink and reluctantly stood up to wash them.
Suddenly, she saw that pile of dishes as a symbol that her family had been fed and had happily shared a meal together. A wave of gratitude filled her heart. She opened the refrigerator to put some things away and saw that it was full because she had recently gone grocery shopping. She again felt gratitude that she had enough to feed herself and her family for the next week, without worrying about how she would do it. She sat down and took out a piece of paper and began to make a list of everything in her life for which she could feel grateful. The list was longer than she ever could have imagined and she realized at that moment that her life was filled with many blessings. From that day on she continued to appreciate everything she had and her life began to increase in abundance.
Two years later when she told me the story, her life was filled with prosperity. She had established her own successful Reiki practice and had started offering seminars on gratitude. When you are happy, you believe in the abundance of the universe along with your ability to attract and accept that abundance. You know all that you desire will flow into your life in perfect time.
Gratitude is felt in varying degrees. Imagine it’s a very hot day and you have been walking outside for quite some time. You’re very thirsty and there is no water available. You continue to walk, knowing that you will not be able to get a drink for quite some time. Finally, when you don’t think you can bear it any longer, you arrive at a place where water is sold. You buy a cold bottle and begin to drink. The water is so refreshing and you enjoy it more than any other drinking experience you can remember.
Now imagine you are sitting at home with a glass of water by your side and you take a sip because you are mildly thirsty. You hardly feel grateful for the sip of water since it was only a slight matter of comfort to you. Gratitude isn’t just a passing feeling you experience in hopes you will attract more. When you can sincerely express extreme gratitude for what you already have in your life, you will begin to attract more. Love your life right now. Each step, even if you trip, is one more step towards your goals, hopes and dreams. All the thoughts and actions of your daily life are the building blocks of your future, and you determine the quality of the building materials you use.
- Speak kind words.
- Do what you love.
- Be grateful for everything in your life.
- Follow your feelings.
- Be thoughtful of everything you say or think.
- Think only happy thoughts.
From ‘Do You Want to Be Happy NOW?‘ by Wendy Ann Zellea
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The Higher Self
Who is your true self? I thought I was my true self. How many selves do I have? Your true self is who you really are; it is how you came into the world. It is called by many names: higher self, spirit, soul, consciousness, but it’s who you are. It is the luminous being who is having a human experience and appears to the world as YOU and when you’re connected with your True Self, as you were when you were very young, you are happy. It’s the nature of your True Self to be happy and it is all that it knows which is why you experience difficulty when you do not listen to its guidance. The difficulty, in our culture, is remaining connected to this part of us. It’s never mentioned that we have this source of higher guidance or that it even exists. Humans have lived on earth for centuries in cultures that control them and keep them in a sort of slavish stupor. This is accomplished either by creating a mentality of scarcity, which convinces people that life should be a struggle with very few rewards, or by giving the general population toys to keep them happy, as is the case in more affluent countries.
Of course, neither situation can create happiness. On one hand, there is suffering, and on the other, material objects do not satisfy the true needs of the people who own them. The truth is, we live in an abundant universe and it is not necessary for anyone to live a life of scarcity. We, the residents of earth, are just starting to become aware of this on a larger scale and as we do, abundance will increase for all. It must be for all, not just for some. We cannot have those who have and those who have not, because we are all part of a whole call humanity. In addition we all exist on many dimensions, therefore all of these incarnations must be addressed, nurtured and maintained. Thanks to New Age media, people are being exposed to enlightened ways of thinking which have been forgotten for ages, but like weeds; keep popping up through the cracks. This phenomenon is enabling the process to occur more gracefully for those involved and with more difficulty for those who do not know they are involved.
Your True Self is not rational, but operates through feelings and intuition, providing you with a source of guidance that allows your True Self to communicate with you. You can always trust your feelings. That’s why you always know how you feel. When you listen to your feelings, you will always remain within the flow of life and that which you desire will come to you and transpire easily.
In our natural world, the seasons come and go and life continues perfectly and effortlessly. We never see the sun struggling to rise or the tide exerting an effort to come in or go out. There is no conflict when flowers bloom or lions roar. Nature occurs and flows and, as part of nature, so should we.
When you are aligned with your True Self:
- You are certain of your path in life and even if you are not certain of what it is; you know you are on it.
- You do not see the struggle in life, but rather the flow.
- Answers to questions come to you. You are in touch with your guidance through your feelings and intuition. It feels natural to you to know what to do in all situations.
- Things work out for the best; perhaps, not always the way you imagined, but you have faith that the result of your actions will be the best outcome and over time you see that they do.
- You are attracted to uplifting feelings and thoughts, avoiding negative input into your life.
Your True Self is not interested in negativity. It seeks that which is positive. We are all pleasure-seeking beings. In fact, everything which is alive is pleasure seeking; it is how life continues. Believe in yourself…your true self.
Excerpt from ‘Do You Want to Be Happy NOW?’ by Wendy Ann Zellea
Self-Esteem – You Deserve It
Did you ever wonder why some people confidently achieve their goals with little effort, while others appear to struggle through life? To begin experiencing success you must feel successful and believe you deserve to be so. The level of self-esteem you have dictates what you allow into your life. Many years ago, a woman told me one day, you are only as successful and happy as you want to be. I was startled by the idea that I was actually in control of my life and all I had to do was to change my attitude and my beliefs. I began to practice thinking positive thoughts.
During my day I recited mantras such as:
- I deserve all that I desire.
- If someone else can do something, so can I.
- I am perfectly where I should be every moment.
- I am a divine creation.
Back then, each time I found myself thinking something negative or doubting myself I practiced my positive affirmations. After awhile I didn’t have to practice anymore, positive thinking became my reality. I began to see that things really do go well when you expect them to. When you believe, it’s always something, you are preparing yourself for expected setbacks and failures; inviting and accepting obstacles that will prevent you from achieving success. This allows you to blame life for your failures instead of taking responsibility for yourself.
On the other hand, when you believe that you will achieve your goals, seamlessly and effortlessly, then you begin to receive the guidance you need to do so and will know the steps to take in the process. Furthermore, you will be encouraged by the momentum you experience when things go well. As you see your efforts materialize into the results you desire, you will gain confidence in your ability to create successful outcomes. Through each step in this process you will become happier, which will support and increase you healthy self-esteem. We live in a universe of infinite possibilities; one of these being that we deserve to have what we truly desire; that is why we desire it, because we are supposed to have it.
Success means different things to each of us, but what it has in common for all is achieving our goals; but does this mean you are only successful if you achieve your final goal or is success an ongoing process of a series of moments occurring they way you would have them? When exactly do you become a success or is each small accomplishment a part of the success you achieve during your visit here on earth? I find that recognizing, showing gratitude for and celebrating the small successes in my life paves the way for more to come. Begin to allow yourself the joy of seeing yourself involved in successful action, remember, you deserve it.
Excerpt from ‘Life is Good, All is Well – Everything is Vibration’, available in fall 2010.
©2010 Wendy Ann Zellea
Your Word – Watch What You Say
Every culture has its sayings, expressions that are intended to convey a bit of wisdom for life situations that occur frequently. For example, if you try advise someone and they do not change their behavior, you might say, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.” Then there are other phrases, a bit more modern, that I hear on a regular basis that appear to be harmless little anecdotes, but in essence are the means by which we sabotage ourselves without even realizing it.
One such phrase, which I hear all too often, is, “It’s always something.” It is normally uttered, in a tone of defeat, when something unexpected and undesirable occurs. Let me begin by saying that it is not always something; if it were then life would be a constant stream of mishaps and we would probably say it’s never anything when things went smoothly. So when you go through life using that phrase when something happens, you are welcoming in such unwanted occurrences.
Delete is from your vocabulary and when someone else says it, reply,no it isn’t. If you can’t verbally contradict what someone else says then at least think it to yourself. This will free you of the mindset that you are a walking potential victim just waiting for something to wrong in your life and will allow you to adopt the belief that all is well and will continue to be.
The next little ditty I hear very often is, “With my luck.” To begin with, allow me to explain that there is no such thing as luck. There are events that occur as a result of the thoughts and beliefs that you create and send out into the universe. Those whose lives go well are those that go through each day with the belief that their life will go well.
I am not implying that they wake up each morning and say to themselves that their life will go well, but it is a belief in progress and success rather than failure and unfortunate circumstances. By uttering, with my luck, you are allowing life to send you, what you consider, unlucky events. Delete that phrase from your vocabulary too and understand that when you hear someone else using it, they are making themselves into a helpless, luckless victim and welcoming in circumstances they do not want.
We must be careful what we say, because our words are powerful. It is written, ‘In the beginning, there was the word’. From that word came all of creation and from your word comes what you create, so if you desire something in your life, don’t say that it will never happen, because you will ensure that it never does. If you wish to make a change in your life, don’t say that you cannot do it or you will find that you cannot. We can create what we desire by believing it will happen and thinking as though it already has.
If you want to achieve any goal you must make it a reality in your mind. Once I decided it was time to move to a new apartment. I thought about my requirements, what was absolutely essential. The new apartment would be on the third or fourth floor and have a balcony. That was absolute. A dishwasher would also be a plus. I looked at all the possible rentals in the area and left my name with the ones I was considering. Just at the appropriate time I got a call from the manager of my first choice building, saying that they had an apartment on the fourth floor with a balcony and a dishwasher. The apartment was completely refurbished and the rent was reasonable. And here I sit.
So it is not just that I am lucky, but I expect my life to proceed seamlessly and effortlessly and it does. That is why I always say, life is good, all is well.
Enjoy the May flowers from Van Saun Park, Paramus, NJ
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